Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The devil is a lie: Hair Envy

This post is about hair envy!!!! What is it? Who has it? And how do you get rid of it?

Hair envy happens to many naturals. It is especially common when people first transition to natural. When I first went natural, I stared at other naturals' hair like Naptural 85, Mahogany Curls, Beautifulbrwnbabydol, and the list goes on, hoping and wishing for hair like theirs. I was unable to see the beauty in my own texture, and I become very unhappy with my own hair. I wanted their length. I wanted their fullness. I wanted their definition. I want! I want! I want! Does this sound familiar yet? Over the time span of being natural, I began receiving compliments from my coworkers/ peers/ friends, which forced me to look harder at my own hair. I began to explore this "beauty" they had found within my hair, and I truly started caring for the individual needs of my tresses. With time, patience, and nurturing, I began to fall in love with my own tresses and see the same beauty (that others had seen) in my hair as well. Don't get me wrong! I still see the beauty in the natural tresses of others; however, I no longer reject my own curls and coils in acceptance of another naturalista's.

What is it? 
Hair envy is the when you covet your neighbor's hair or tresses, ultimately becoming disappointed with your own hair.

Who has it? How do you know if you have hair envy?
Anyone can have it. The following is some of the symptomology of hair envy:

  • If you could cut someone's hair off and pass it as your own, you have hair envy! 
  • If you considered scalping someone because of their luxurious curls and kinks, you have hair envy! 
  • If you stare at pictures of hair in adoration, and look at your hair in frustration, you have hair envy! 

How do you get rid of hair envy?
Hair envy is real! I know first hand! I used to suffer with it in the initial months of my natural journey. If hair envy is something you struggle with, try these tips!
1. Embrace your hair. Find several styles that work for your own beautiful texture. By doing this, you will see the beauty and versatility in your own hair.
2. When someone compliments you on your hair, accept the compliment. Even if you don't believe the compliment initially, accept it anyway. 
3. Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, and other social media outlets are great ways to find inspiration through hair pictures; however, try to follow people with a similar hair type to yours. 
4. Create realistic expectations for your hair. Realize that your hair is uniquely yours, and when you strive for a braid out, it will look differently than another natural's braid out. Your Bantu knot out or twist and curl won't look like mine! Expect that your hair will be different and embrace those differences as your hair individuality. 
5. Let the hair of other naturals serve as inspiration. Tracee Ellis Ross reacted to the fact that so many women idealize her luxurious mane: “I love that you love my hair, but I only love that you love my hair if it inspires you to love your own.” Bottom line: You can appreciate the manes of other naturals as long as you love and appreciate your own first!!!

PSA: If you or someone you know has hair envy, help them out! Don't be a victim to hair envy! Lol!

No seriously, Kurlies weigh in: Have you ever had hair envy? Don't leave me hanging! 

Until next time...

Be faith-filled, fearless, and fabulous,
Kurly Ken

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